Informed Birth Choices

They were all waiting for me to react. “I did not go through years of medical school and have years of debt to scoop “s--t” out of a tub while you birth,” her Ob/GYN told her. As my student recounted her most recent office visit to the entire class, she started to giggle nervously and fidget. It was clear that she was unprepared for the inevitable loss of choice. While some very select MD hospitals will toy with the idea of a water-birth, most only pay lip service to the possibility; luring mothers in by giving them a false sense of ownership over their birth experiences. The mother was gracious enough to not even hint at which OB this was. She looked at me for a reaction. About 57 thoughts flew through my head, most of which I would never share with this class. I landed on, “It is not about her.”

So often in births the ownership is taken from the mother. Doctors take it, midwives take it, doulas take it, nurses take it, even machines take it. What can be left of the experience if the mother is no longer allowed choice?

Back to our distressed student 3 weeks from her due date. Other than this exchange, she is happy with her practice of OBs. I help her find ways to accommodate her preference to have water therapy available to her by offering these suggestions: a bath at home before the trip to the hospital, a shower at the hospital, the off-chance she will birth on a day with an OB secure enough in their standing to scoop poop out of a tub. I however can not resist sharing the ironic fact that regardless of this OB’s preference “s--t happens” during most births and the OB is usually the one to catch it.

About every April, for the last 7 years, I go through a strange ritual of gathering old tubes of sunscreen, worrying about which ones to buy again, sitting on it until May when my daughters' first sunburn reminds me time to buy! But which ones are best.  It is not just about exposure from the sun.  It is also about exposure to ingredients IN the sunscreen. At last weeks New Mom Support Group we discussed a small fraction of the options available in the "natural" sunscreen industry.  We compared prices, safety ratings, and usability.

We used Skin Deep, the Environmental Working Group's cosmetic database, to select only sunblocks with the best safety rating.  To check out your sunblock and other baby products visit Skin Deep.

What are your favorite sunblocks for baby? What are your thoughts on ingredient safety in baby products, does it keep you up at night or do you sleep soundly?

Home/Birth: A Poemic was not a book I thought I would enjoy.  This was handed to me by my oldest friend over a plate of pancakes in an IHOP.  She is a poet.  I use the left side of my brain way too much.  She proved me wrong, again!  This book scratched so many different itches; my doula itch, my homebirth itch, my childbirth educator itch, my mama itch.  Are you itching to read it yet?  Don't take my word for it here is what my friend has to say.

"The writers weave together reflections on their own birthing experiences and those of their mothers with other women's birth stories, as well as facts about birthing in America today, quotes from classic natural childbirth texts, the history of childbirth in the US and much more. It's a truly insightful look at how women birth and how it impacts our whole lives, our relationships with our children and beyond. The most striking thing about it is how they manage to be both passionate in their belief that most women would do better to birth at home and yet not off-putting to someone who would make a different decision. Both women also suffered from lost pregnancies/stillbirth and they also write about how much death and loss are a part of pregnancy and childbirth. 

And it's lovely, too, very poetic even with all it includes. There are questions and phrases that they come back to again and again throughout the book, such as, Who are the villains here? ("Is the epidural the villain here?... Is pitocin the villain here?... Is the culture that fears birth the villain here?") and the idea of needing to talk ("We need to talk about it: sometimes babies die... We have hardly begun to talk about our mothers... We haven't even begun talking about how it is in the rest of the world..."). 

I definitely cried a lot reading this book, but it was more helpful than any childbirth book I read during my first pregnancy--not just more information and more stories, though that was great, but I actually feel somehow almost cleansed of fear and anxiety as I head into the last trimester of my second pregnancy. "

Who doesn't deserve a little cleansing right before a beautiful birth?

Yesterday a group of men and women met in a cozy and bright, front room on St. Paul St., in Baltimore.  We talked, we ate, we shared stories and we reveled in our love of all things birth.  There were midwives, doulas, mamas, dads, and more.  This was the first gathering of the Maryland Birth Network.  This resource will be a one stop shop for any woman/man looking for pregnancy, birth, postpartum information and support. Check it out! Monthly Birth Circle meetings begin soon.  I hope to see you there soon!